What fucking day. I

hope it gets better, because this show is not making it any better. Went to Central to talk to Mary Mackbee. She herself is multiracial. She noted that often biracial grow up in an all white community. She talk about they way they sit during lunch time. I am excited about tonight going to listen to Pedro Nogera. I am nervous about it. But happy. I think I am going alone so I'll go at about 5.30. But then I am nervous about a lot of things lately. I have been really negative about myself, I am thinking it might be the tv. A lot of the things I have been watching suddenly seem very stressing. Wire in the blood is really rather disgusting, but I can't stop watching. I am fucking cold I took a walk today would have thought I wouldn't be cold.

Current progress is slow

I am feeling much better in health than the month of January. I am working on trying to get the IRB part out of the way. Then I will have time to work on a few grants, the small one for having someone like george to help me with the data transcription and some analysis. I may use some of the money to help me "entertain" the students, take them out for snacks...The like.
I have written about 40 questions all told, most likely more like 60 or so. I know I will not use them all, and they might even be redundant in some ways. But I think it better to have too much but then I am sure there are plenty that I haven't thought of yet. It is funny when I talk about the paper with random people, everyone is super interested in it, they have something to say about it, have biracial children in their family somewhere...and we still think that this is business as usual. Not that I think that this is a complete problem, but I do think that not paying attention to it is not helping things. At best they just ignore it (the students) at worst they are complete alienated by the system. So what is it like to be in brown skin and be thought of in one specific way by society at large. OR maybe society no longer sees it that way. It would be really nice to have a way to leave race completely out of it. I am really going to try to let it be brought up. But that is hard when I have to explain my research project. Why am I picking you as a student? Well because of your parents claiming different racial categories. Wrong, there comes race. That is what critical theory is about, you can't leave race out of the equation and the point of it and this research is to make it explicit. And thereby question its validity. Ah here is the theory for me. We see race everywhere, continue to be shown it as much as we continue to be shown femininity or masculinity or sexuality.